Mama’s Blog

I think  was maxed out on my photo storage here, so I had to delete some fish pictures.  I need to update anyway.  Bad news tonight: the male Dalmatian Molly is no longer with us.  Nearly half his body surface area was shredded from thrashing on the floor.  He had been declining, and tonight he lost most of his ability to control his locomotion.  He had jammed himself under the Anubias roots and a shrimp was trying to pick on his injury.  He was humanely euthanized.  Still sucks.  I knew his chances were poor.  I'd been watching him closely and hoping, though.  I was just saying the other day how I have not lost fish in so long, and now we've lost two.  I'm really hoping my son doesn't notice. 
Last night I had dinner with the girls and we had fun.  I have diarrhea of the mouth, it seems.  Need to take something for that.   After telling only my sister and husband, and neither of them for a week- trust me it's a Guinness Level record- I told these ladies that I was trying to write a book.  Trying being the operative word for me.  Sure, I can talk endlessly.  I can blog about nothing in particular for hours, but writing?!  Well I didn't say I was a writer.  But it still felt like your New York waitress telling you she's an actor.  I felt stupid.   Especially when describing my idea.  But real writers say to tell people what you are doing.  The only reason I can think for that is that some day they expect to see  a result, and maybe they'll pester you into finishing.  I am a reader, really.  I love to read.  I love books.  I like to learn new things in nonfiction and I like to relax by loosing myself in good fiction.  I swear I wanted to be a chauffeur after seeing the movie Sabrina with Julia Ormond and Greg Kinnear.  Her dad was a chauffer who's house looked like the walls were lined with books from floor to ceiling- they were everywhere and Sabrina said he took the job so he could read all day.  I thought, "Now that's The Life!"  But instead I'm a washed out firefighter turned haus frau.  I need stuff to keep my brain gears from getting rusty.   I also need to be distracted from my tendency to worry over my family.  My sister is all for the aquarium interest.  She thinks I should do more with it.  Maybe she just doesn't want to read about herself in my blog... The idea of writing a book is sort of like running a marathon for me.  Something I have always admired, but thought I could never do.  Eventually, I have to try those things that I thought I couldn't do.  Now those things are more cerebral than physical, but still...  My DH has been saying I should do it for 10 years.  That's probably why I didn't :)  Just Kidding.  Love you, honey.  He just sees my editing.  He asks my opinion on his stuff fairly regularly.  I know no one who reads this blog believes I could edit.  I never polish the blog because it's my therapy.  Stream of consciousness need to get it out so I can sleep, stuff.  Another lady there has also been writing, so we told each other we'd get to work.  And here I am.  Blogging. 

DS and I hit the Library today, and the play area at the mall, and the fish store to replace our sad black molly who died.  I went ahead and got two more of the Dalmatian Mollies, another black on white female and a white on black male with a Sail.  I dropped them in when we got home and observed them for a while.  All seemed well.  I turned the lights off over the tanks and put DS down for nap.  After nap I came down and couldn't see the new male Molly.  I made dinner and kept checking.  I have so many plants that he could hide easily if he was nervous.  DH comes home and we try to see behind the stand in case he jumped.  Didn't see him under either.  So we eat dinner.  After dinner I pull out the nets and move every plant, check every inch of the bottom, fully expecting to find him dead.  Still no sign of him.  I make DH move the heavy stand holding both tanks.  There he is.  I send DH up to distract our son and finally go to pull out the expected fish jerky.  When I did, I saw it moving.  He could have jumped out anytime during nap.  I noticed him gone 2 1/2 hours prior.  With little hope I drop him in a cup of tank water, and added an extra salt chunk.  I figured he was dead and I should be doing the humane thing, but I felt so guilty for not finding him sooner that I had t try to save him.  I hid the cup in the laundry room so my boy wouldn't see it.  Twenty minutes in the cup and the molly is swimming.  I put him in the tank and he's swimming actively with the group.  I couldn't believe it.  Of course he could still die.  It was quite a shock to his system, I'm sure.  He looks nearly normal.  He's respiring a bit fast.  They must be able to get O2 from air like the Bettas, Gouramis and Oto.   I plan on looking it up.  If he makes it he'll have survived a fall 36 times his height with resulting rapid deceleration trauma, temperature drop of 6 degrees, dried gills and body, loss of protective slime coat (on his skin), and at least 2 1/2 hours of greatly reduced oxygen.  I'll keep you posted.         

We lost the male Black Molly.  He was on the bottom this morning, and the Otocinclus had tasted him.  I also saw the Oto take a swipe at tasting a Rainbow again last week.  I am sure he is after the other fishes slime coats, now.  My big question is whether or not it would be worthwhile to get another Molly.  I don't know if it was acclimation, illness or attack.  We haven't lost a fish in along time.  Now I'm worried about the baby Gouramis, without a UV filter.  I will try with another Molly, since the Dalmatian seems ok.  I've made the not-so-responsible decision to do that rather than go to the grocery, today.  As I've said before, I hate grocery shopping.  It takes forever to read all of the ingredients and my son gets antsy.  So I give it about an hour, and just go more often.  I also have a circuit of four stores I use regularly, different items from different stores.  But since gas prices have been high, we've been only going to these two farther stores when we have an extensive list.  Today we were going to hit the one by the library.  The fish store that the latest additions came from is out this way, too.  Unfortunately I can't get my replacement fish and leave him in the car while I shop.  So I chose fish over groceries.  And it wasn't a hard decision.  Truth is I'm at a store every few days and we don't urgently need anything.
  The last time I went to the store we got to play with DS's little friends at the playground first.  We took our lunch and he wore himself out.  At the grocery, he was content to sit in the car-cart and eat some raisins.  No complaints the whole time.  It was a really nice day all together.  

I made (American) Goulash for lunch today.  DS had speech therapy, and thus breakfast, very early this morning.  Plus DH leaves for work about lunchtime, so we ate early.  I think this will become our Tues Routine.  Today it hurt, because we got out of the habit of being up early, over summer.  Still, I managed to do without coffee- my evil addiction.  The Goulash turned out well.  My Dear Son even ate the veggies, and mostly without comment.  He said he liked it and wanted to have it again.  It's another easy one-pot meal.  Here's the recipe:

Mama's Turkey Goulash
chop med onion
1 lb ground turkey
1 to 1 1/2 cups of vegatables, I used frozen mixed veg and fresh chopped spinach this time
1 can (14.5oz) of diced tomatoes
about 1+ can water (enough to just cover all ingredients)
1 1/2 cups of pasta, I used spirals but macaroni elbows are good too
salt, pepper,garlic and chili powder to taste

In large pan or pot:  Cook onion until translucent, add ground turkey and cook fully, add rest and bring to a boil.  Turn down heat to simmer until the noodles are done.  It should be bubbling lightly the whole time.  Don't stir too much, only once or twice. 

I made some changes to the aquarium last night.  I brought four fish home, so I did a quick 10% water change before I put them in.  I also trimmed just a bit, added a tiny bit of salt and removed lots of duckweed so the new ones can find their food.  The salt was mainly for the two mollies I added to the 20g.  Plants don't like salt so I only put in about 1/2 tsp for the 20 gallon.  I don't know how they were kept before, so this will at least help them acclimate, even if I don't use salt later.  I went ahead and added 1/4 tsp for the 10 gallon as well.  I put two new young Sunset (red orange) Dwarf Gouramis in the 10, which doesn't have a UV filter.  I am hoping they aren't carrying anything that will make the other Gouramis sick.  All the fish looked really good, which is why I was tempted.  The mollies in the 20 are one female Dalmatian Molly and one male black molly.  I've wanted a plain black molly for a while.  I like them and everyone says they are algae eaters.  The plain ones I've seen in LFS always looked bad, though.  I can't put fancy finned fish in with the Beta- I worry that he may get confused and attack them.  Though he's been a model citizen for months.  Well the male black molly looks to be what they call a Midnight Molly, or sail-fin hybrid.  His dorsal fin is higher.  But not long and flowy.  So far everyone seems well.  The twenty will have reached capacity with an Ancistrus, if I get one.  The new, small Gouramis wanted to school with the submissive powder blue male I have.  The dominant male flustered them all a bit, but the smallest one stuck up for himself.  He's less than half as big as the Dominant one.  They settled in pretty quickly so I hope they'll all be ok.  I also dropped in some tiny bits of cooked, plain sweet potato.  I've been offering tiny bits of vegetables ever since I saw the Otocinclus Catfish "taste" one of the young rainbows.  It was very deliberate, so I've been keeping an eye out for trouble.  I thought maybe he was hungry.  He hasn't liked or even found as far as I know, any of the various veggies recommended.  Nor has he liked Omega sinking algae tabs.  But the Amano shrimp do.  Well last night I realized I'd be able to trap most of the Red Cherry Shrimp with sweet potato.  They swarmed it.  In fact, I could tell I have many more fry than I realized.  It looks like three hatches.  There are three distinct size sets, the smallest being not much bigger than their eggs.  I see them more often now.  Their breeding is an indication of a healthy tank, also.  I guess, like fish, the shrimp feel more confident in groups.  That was part of the reason for the mollies as well: Dither fish.  They are friendly active swimmers.  The young Rainbows have been swimming with them.  The Turquoise Rainbow still needs another one or two of his kind, he wants to bully the juvenile Rainbows.  The mollies aren't intimidated so the four young Rainbows are getting bolder.  They don't have a tight school like fish of one species, but they return to each other and generally group.  The tank looks happier and more interesting.          

Found this on the web and it worked well when I ran out of Bisquick:

Baking Mix
1/2 cup Baking Powder
1/4 cup sugar
9 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/4 cup Canola Oil

We have a nice gentleman who sells fresh produce about a mile from our house.  I had cash on hand so I stopped.  For six bucks I got 5 small cucumbers, 2 large ripe tomatoes, a huge zucchini and 2 lbs of string-less green beans.  My son was tickled to help me snap beans on the porch, after nap.  I wanted to have some vegetables ready in the fridge so they had an alternative to fast food while I was gone.  I also stocked the freezer with Healthy Choice, but as DH had both DS and our nephew for one day, they ate out lunch and dinner anyway.  I know it won't kill them.  And he did a good job keeping track of the food allergies and medicines and kept them entertained.  He's a good dad.  So anyway, I cut up the cukes and tomatoes (best I'd had all year, including hothouse Camparis) and tossed them in about a quarter cup of light Italian dressing with a tablespoon of Balsamic Vinegar and a dash of garlic powder, salt and pepper.  This is my husbands favorite salad.  It made a huge 3 qt bowl.  He finished it off happily. 
Next I chopped a large onion and threw it in a 5qt pot with some Pam, added my 2 lbs of fresh green beans, 4 medium potatoes and covered it with two cans of nonfat, low sodium chicken broth.   I brought it to a rolling boil, then turned it down to bubble for an hour.  The last 15 minutes I added frozen (cooked) cubed ham chunks, a little salt and pepper.  It was so good.  I lived on something like this when I bought my first house.  I was single and making about minimum wage.  The whole house had to be redone.  I spent $12-20 on groceries for the week and never ate out.  I bought cheap canned beans, the cheapest sausage for meat and cooked it in the microwave because I didn't have a stove.  Much better to have farm fresh beans.  This made a huge pot also, at least 4 qts cooked.  I thought DS would go for the beans if he did them himself.  He tried them.  But that was it.  I always make him try stuff.  He ate so many kinds of food since he was a baby.  I thought we'd skip the picky kid thing.  Nope.  Drives me nuts.  But he still eats lots of veggies and good foods. 
I had a twenty four hour break from dieting when my sister and I went to a funeral.  I was bad.  Food was always a comfort in our family, and we didn't learn to eat healthfully until we were out of the house as adults.  Sad, but true.  Well, I had an iced coffee, a protein bar, Bob Evans breakfast and later a cheeseburger and turtle shake at a 50's style drive-up diner.  So good.  I kept thinking how my husband would have liked the place.  When I brought him their card, he knew it, already.  A state away and small town, but he did.  He must have put some miles on that motorcycle he had.  Seems like he went everywhere.  Well, I weighted  in when I got home, and for the first time  since I started  counting my calories, the scale went the wrong direction.  I had counted on it pausing for a few days, but not reversing.  Figures.  Oh well, back in the game today.   So that's all my food talk. 
If you have been following lately, I want to ask for continued prayers for this family who lost a father and husband last week.  He was still young, very athletic and they had no warning.  They have two kids and had just moved for his job. She's been an at-home mom.  She lost her sister about five years ago.  I can't even get my mind around this awful time.  I don't know what say, even in prayer.  But I believe in the power of prayer, so I just keep on trying. If you pray, please add your prayers for this young family.  Thank you.  

Well I've been in a bit of a funk.  But I figure we're due for tank talk.  I'm sure I have thousands of avid readers who can't wait to know if I've trimmed the Hygro or changed the water in my aquariums lately, Har Har.  And the answer is no, I haven't.  Gotta love the Natural Tank.  'Cause I hate changing water.  A friend mentioned her small tank today and made me think about the suitability of plants for a small tank.  Really, it depends on how often you wan to mess with the tank.  I made a Nano for my sister's Beta and she never has to trim plants.  She has only Sagitaria Subulata in low light.  But because she has plants, she rarely needs to change the water; maybe 1/3 to 1/2 the water every couple of months.  Diana Walstad trims her larger tanks with faster growing plants every month and tops off, but only changes half the water every 6 months.  I change some water every couple of months because I don't like the yellow tint it will get from the Dissolved Organic Compounds.  When I can see the yellowing, I change some.  But the plants do all the work.  They take out the Ammonia that fish give off as waste.  D Walstad proves the chemistry in her book .  For many small set-ups, all you need is a light.  My Nanos 1 gallons for Betas just sat in a well lit room.  And they were the easiest tanks I every had.  So, I think many plants are very suitable for small set-ups.  Some you can even do without a dirt substrate: Anubias, Marimo Moss Ball, Java Moss, Najas Grass and Hornwort.  But iit's pretty simple to freeze some dirt cubes and slide them under the rocks (watch the water temp), too or re-set a small tank.   Of course, I'd like to start a Planted Tank Revolution.  It's just so much easier.  And the fish are happier and healthier. 
  Now for my update.  My Turquoise Rainbow is still kicking and has become the King of the 20 gallon.  I went back to get him a friend and they were all gone.  Just my luck.  I'm hoping Rainbows will become more popular in LFS's, so I can easily find them.  My baby shrimp are growing well and thriving.  They have plenty of food just from the plants, but I have added some zucchini a few times, and a bit of extra fish food.  Getting the Gouramis into the other tank was a good move for them.  Maybe I'll have massive amounts of Cherries some day.  I bought and started soaking a piece of driftwood for this tank in hopes of getting a bristle nose catfish (Ancistus) from a friend in the plant club who has bred them.  I selected a piece of wood which will sit on stilted branches, with minimal contact to the substrate.  This way I won't be creating anaerobic spots in my soil.  The suckermouth cats really need this.  My tiny Otto. cat has gotten by on the Anubias rhizhome, but he'll appreciate it, too.  The cellulose helps their digestion.   So that's where it's at.  I am going  out of town for a day, but I figure they all can do without food for one day if DH forgets to feed them.  Though I may have a few less shrimp babies if that happens...

I just don't believe God takes people for a specific purpose.  I can't get my mind around it.  Some would say that I am a 'bad' Christian, I'm sure.  But there's no reasoning it for me.  I understand that He is All Knowing.  I understand that as humans we are supposed to struggle with our frailties and learn the lessons of life.  But I always feel like these things are random.  God set them in motion by making us weak, but He couldn't possibly want this awful life-changing sorrow for his children, right?  Some people don't recover from the seemingly meaningless things that happen to them.  I would have an awful time without my sister and husband, two of the most important relationships for any woman.  It would be crippling.  It just seems like too much.  The only thing that makes me think I could survive, is my son.  I'm just so sad for this family.  I'm trying to think of positive, comforting things; but I keep running up against my own sadness.  And I know it's selfish.  Why do we do that?  Is it another human frailty? This thinking of ourselves when a friend is in pain?  Or did God give us this trait so we could understand each other?  I don't think you can be touched by something like this and not appreciate your family more.  But that's all about me.  It doesn't help our friend.  I know there's nothing I can say.  I wish there was something significant I could do.

I am writing to request prayers for the family of a friend of mine.  She's been my sister's best friend since they were in grade school.  Her husband died suddenly and unexpectedly today.  They have two young kids and had just moved to a new city for his job.  Please pray for this family.

I have been counting calories.  That's most of my diet.  I have been working out gently, when I'm not sore, but I am on my feet moving most of the day anyway.  The workouts are pretty light.  Mainly I am counting calories.  But if I really need an extra snack or something, I do better if I allow myself that, then I do if I try to brave it out and then go nuts and eat worse later,  So I kinda feel like I've been slacking this week, and we'll see if the scale continues it's slow descent this week.  The evil hormones had me in there grip last week, but today feels good.  I had to have half a small fry yesterday with my fast food lunch.  The first fries I have had since dieting.  They tasted so good; but then I just wanted more bad stuff later and had to fight the cravings.  I'm back on track today.  In between looking up calories for produce and things that aren't labeled, I have been reading articles on the Calorie Lab Website.  I had to share this one.  I like the "Don't be afraid of fat" bent.  Dr G told me a long time ago that a little pat of real better was better than margarine.  She recommended this diet to me before the American Institute for Cancer Research presented their report, back in 2000.  So she was on the ball.  Wish she hadn't retired.  But I thought it was neat that now people are getting back to moderation.  I was so interested in this because I have always felt like some meat or dairy helps me feel satisfied.  Ditto with grains and legumes.  I will be hungry sooner if I try to eat just a veggie salad.   So we are back to balance and eating many types of foods at the meal to get nutrients and be satisfied.  Works for me.  Feels free-er.  I try to mostly count the calories, but to feel full you need to balance out the meal with lower calorie vegetables anyway.  And I like veggies.  I feel so vindicated. 
Today I feel strong again.  I can do it!