Thorn in the side

Paul talked to the Corinthians about his affliction.  He called it a 'thorn in his side' to keep him humble because of the great things he knew of heaven.  This is a good meditation for me. 

2 Corinthians 12: 9-11 (NASB)

 "9And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

 10Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

I have such a hard time giving up control.  Or admitting that I can't do everything anymore.  I was driving to church (a scenic route) and saw an old, run-down, probably unoccupied house on a beautiful piece of land.  I immediately thought to myself that we could buy something like that and I could demolish it.  It would be easier if you donated the building for local fire-training first.  Save a lot of money.  Then we could build a small perfect house there for retirement.  It would be fun.  After all I used to do this every day.  (mental crash to a halt)  This only took a few seconds to pass through my mind.  I actually forgot in the moment.  I miss what I lost every time I have a big job to do around the house.  I'll never quit being a do-it-yourself-er.  I was rehabbing my first house long before I was a firefighter.  I miss the action.  I miss being outside and on the go.  I miss being so strong.  When will I quit thinking this way?  Maybe never.  Maybe I'm doomed to forever sound like Uncle Jim reliving his Glory Days while everyone else rolls there eyes.  I try not to talk about it. 
The medical training I went through was not without purpose in the bigger picture of my life.  I am very capable of caring for my child and his particular problem; I really get it.  I lost my career.  But I appreciate being able to raise my son every day as a stay-at-home mom.  I was injured and can't carry a pregnancy.  But if I hadn't been, we may not have taken this path to our second child.  It would have been much easier to 'home-grow' one again.  I think that we were meant to grow our family through adoption.  As hard as it is to wait, I believe we are on the right path.   I believe that God will bring to us the child that we are meant to parent. 
When I was younger I hated when people said, "everything happens for a reason".  It seemed cold and just awful.  Now I am reminding myself of this constantly.  It helps me face this huge unknown time until we meet our second child.  His Grace is sufficient for me.  Every day.  And during this long wait.
Happy Easter.